Well, we are coming out of the first month of the new year, giving us enough time to settle into the thought that it’s now 2015. New blog for the new year…blogspot version will be discontinued, but I wasn’t using it much anyway. I’d like to start the year documenting the changes in my life. 2015 has no where to go but up, considering the challenges of the last few years. I felt so OVER everything, speaking of financially, emotionally, and physically. My equilibrium emotionally tends toward happiness and joy naturally, and I was beginning to notice a constant feeling of flat, annoyed, and sometimes angry. I knew that I needed to make some major changes in my life and simply coming to that realization had brought back some of the spark.
I spent the last half of 2014 shaking things up. I spent a significant amount of time and energy on sewing costumes and planning for Comic Con NYC in October. I attended with my sister, who was also a huge part of planning along with our mom. Parts of preparing and attending were fun, but the experience was layered with financial worries, health issues, and personal struggles. Even so, it was one of the first big things I had done just for fun in a long time.
I went on a low carb diet early in the year in attempt to lose excess weight gained before my Celiac diagnosis. I succeeded in losing over 30 lbs. While prepping for Comic Con over the summer, I came down with Hand, Foot, & Mouth disease. Fun, but I wasn’t out of the woods yet. My SI joint decided that it wanted to act up for no apparent reason. Chiropractic care became a regular part of my life, causing more financial strain, but was definitely a necessary part of my physical healing. I’m currently experimenting with the AIP diet to reduce systemic inflammation and things are going well so far.
The biggest change is the most difficult. During the last six months of 2014, I gradually came to the realization that my husband and I had grown apart to a significant degree. After lots of arguing, a brief stint in couple’s therapy, and tons of discussion, he began to see what I had realized sooner than him…we probably weren’t the best for each other in a romantic relationship. There were significant personality differences that no amount of discussion or therapy was going to make us feel good about. I am thankful I married the man I did, because overall we have been maintaining a friendship and attempting to engage in the process in a caring way. This doesn’t mean it’s easy for either of us, but we are living by the concept that neither of us is, or wants to be, an asshole to the other.
The dark cloud over my head is beginning to move away. I’m feeling hopeful for the future, and this time when I say it, I’m not just trying to convince myself of the feeling. Good things are in the works.